AC/PC or Banging Your Head Against A Wall (of stupidity)

by Phil Ossifer

Do you ever get the feeling that the world is getting incrementally crazy by the day?

Well I do, and I think it is time to take stock of how stupid and PC we are becoming as a species.

Currently a tsunami of PC stupidity is threatening our shores and it is time for us to go to higher ground and plant a flag in support of common sense. I know that is a precious stone which we see little of these days, in fact I believe it is a threatened state of consciousness that will follow the dinosaurs and trustworthy politicians into extinction unless we act now and in large numbers.

Nevertheless, as a committed Grey (Matter) voter I at least, intend to make a stand for this vital resource before it is too late.

Our language has undergone many changes over the years to accommodate the easily offended and (occasionally) those who deserve more respect. But while some of these changes have been the proper thing to do, every so often there is a move that goes beyond caring and strays into the realms of the ridiculous, threatening to remove all barriers to the tide that, if left unchecked will wash away all evidence of intelligent life on our planet.

I hasten to add that this is not a new phenomenon. In fact, it had its beginning back in the 1950s and was noticed and seized upon by that great prophetic comedian Stan Freberg. Stan saw what was coming long before most people and you can hear what might have been one of the earliest warning sketches on this subject here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLlTlYfqQV4&list=RDJ4vlJX5RwL4&index=23 It was first broadcast on his radio show in 1957.

As for the latest hoo-hah we are faced with, that is about brand names that “offend”.

Tip Top are changing the name of their Eskimo Pie ice-creams and removing the Inuit cartoon from the packaging. I have no problem with them removing the cartoon picture, but the name? Seriously? I know that it allegedly means “eater of raw meat” although some say it means “to net snowshoes” (whatever that means). But even the Alaska Native Language Centre appears to be pretty comfortable with the use of the word.

In line with Tip Top’s actions, Pascall’s are also considering changing their Eskimo sweets which are shaped like little people swathed in warm clothes and Allens are reputed to be considering changing the names of their sweets that are currently called Redskins despite the fact that they look absolutely nothing like Native Americans and have no such association on their packaging anymore.

It even appears that Afghan biscuits may be under threat when they don’t look anything like people and merely resemble most other biscuits that are made with cocoa and walnuts.

So how far are we going to allow this stupidity to go?

I did a wee extrapolation or two to consider how widespread this lunacy could get if left unchecked and this is what I found.

There could soon be a time a time when we will not be allowed to have Russian Fudge, because it implies that we are eating a race of East Slavic people and French toast will be banned lest it is thought we are grilling French people.

But why should we expect that they will end this madness with baked goods?

Before we know it, you won’t be able to have Lebanese cucumbers, Belgian chocolate, English Mustard, Irish Moss, Welsh rarebit, or Scotch eggs; (yes, I now the race are called Scottish – but many others don’t). We might not even be allowed to have Kiwifruit (which for the younger readers were previously known by another name that would be a no-no today; (Chinese gooseberries).

And if it were to go beyond food, we might find we no longer can catch German measles, play Chinese checkers, wear Roman sandals, swim using the Australian crawl, write letters using Indian ink, or smoke Cuban cigars.

It could also be the finish of Finnish saunas (because they make Nordic people seem hot and sweaty), Thai massage would have to go because of its (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) “hands on” aspect, and as for getting a Brazilian? You can scrub that image of pubeless South Americans out right away.

So come on Kiwis, if I am permitted to refer to us a as bunch of flightless birds; let’s stop this wave of stupidity while we still can.

I've had my say now and I am going to go and have a nice Greek salad – oh bugger! Tweedly will get me for that.